Reflecting on the experiences which have helped to shape the person I am becoming, I feel grateful to have grown up in Colorado because it has provided me with many unique opportunities. Surrounded by the beautiful Rocky Mountains, I have fallen in love with hiking. The feeling of summiting a peak is unlike any other; you feel accomplished, strong, on-top of the world, and so small at the same time. It was immersed in the mountains where I learned such a valuable lesson. While I was on a 15-day Outward Bound backpacking trip, my teammates and I were presented with a very difficult task.
“You have 24-hours to get back to base camp" our instructors yelled as they began trekking away from our campsite, while the sun lowered behind a peak and the temperature began its descent. The 7 of us looked at one another, each bearing a different expression-- fear, excitement, apprehension, regret and everything in between. We set out heading north and in the initial hours of our expedition I saw some of the most beautiful sights I had ever come across in my life. As we sumitted our first 13-thousand foot peak of the night, it felt as if the stars shone for a purpose and I was honored to be just one of the forms of life they illuminated the path for. The snow seemed to fall with more grace and glisten in a different way when I was observing it from a mile above treeline, under the moonlight. Spirits were high and conversations were enjoyable for hours upon hours. It was the 3rd of July and we fantasized about seeing fireworks when we got back to camp. We sang the “National Anthem” and shared our family’s traditions on this holiday. Everyone was tired, but working to keep each other happy enough to keep moving.
The morale crusher came at hour 14, mile 43. We had just regained our breath that had been sucked when we crossed the thinly iced over river 2 hours earlier. We came to the location where the most prominent landmark of our journey should’ve been- a bridge. But instead of finding a bridge, we found our instructors. They told us the high waters had washed out the bridge and there was no way to safely cross the river. We had to go up a mountain and add on additional miles in order to get around it. Chaos erupted- the two girls in my group started crying while a boy began throwing anything he had the strength to. I was sad, panicked, and unsure if we could do it. I didn’t know how to react, so I simply rested my tired eyes and thought about my options. It was in this moment that I realized the power of choice. It was up to me whether I wanted to be sad and angry or accepting and excited. Sleep deprived, exhausted, and confused, I still chose the later. I told myself to be happy we got to see more and push our minds farther than we knew possible. It is because of that instantaneous choice that I will forever be grateful for every extra step I was granted to take in the beautiful Rocky Mountains.
My home is in the mountains of Colorado, but it is also in the ice rink. I’ll never forget the way his brow furrowed more deeply and his eyes turned cold each time I caught his attention. He didn’t care if I was bigger, stronger, or faster. In his eyes I was never going to be enough because I wasn’t a hockey player- I was a girl. I decided I was going to do anything and everything in my power to find my own room in the hockey home. Passes had to be perfect, instructions had to be followed, and shots had to go in. Practice didn’t end when I left the rink; I begged relentlessly for my dad to take me to the frozen-over pond every night so I could practice edgework and speed, I constantly shot pucks in the garage to perfect my aim and power, and games were always on the TV being closely studied. I felt a responsibility to be as good as the boys because I was one of the only girls in the club. I had to prove myself because my actions were the only basis to set a judgement of how good any girl was at hockey. After 4 season of intense focus and work, I entered high school feeling ready to compete against the 6’4”, 250-pound seniors from around the state. My coach welcomed me on the team and gave me the chance to show that any girl can be just as good, and even better, than boy players. The home I found in the hockey community helped me to realize I have an important role in fighting for equality.
The places and people which have felt like home to me for the past 17 years have played a major role in the construction of who I am today. The mountains have taught me the value of choosing the path I want to take and hockey has made me stronger.
