How much we enjoy

"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes us happy." 

-Charles Spurgeonj

The people I have met on previous journeys with Children's Global Alliance understood this quote. Everyone I encountered understood how important it is to live in the moment. The children who we go to teach have taught me more about life than I could ever hope to teach them. Through observation of their actions I have learned how much I have to be appreciative of. 

I have a mother, a father, and a brother who support me in all aspects of my life. I learned to be appreciative for this because many of the children in Cambodia did not have parents in their lives at all. This deprivation did not stop them from doing anything, though. They still decided to live in the moment and focus on everything they did have. They were grateful for the opportunity to go to school. Similarly, the children in Tanzania were so excited to learn each and every day. Their excitement to learn rubbed off on me and made me even more excited to teach. It made me more appreciative for the access I have to great education at Eagle Valley High School. 

While I was in Tanzania, the school we worked at had a soccer match against a different school in the area. I was so excited to go watch, although, when I got there I realized no girls were playing. That may seem obvious, but I didn't think about it and seeing all boys on the field put some things into perspective. I understood and saw that people couldn't even try some things I am most passionate about. Sports such as soccer and hockey are such a big part of my life, they both bring me much excitement and I have fun doing them. Seeing that girls could not play sports at all made me more grateful for the opportunities I am presented with in the United States. 

This year I am traveling to Morocco help teach at Abde Salan Mid-high school. I want to go to Morocco to learn about what else I should be appreciative of. I am going to give the children hope as well. I will show the children that I believe in them and I care about their learning. I hope that me believing in them will encourage them to believe in themselves too. 

In Morocco I will strive to share all of my love and to provide hope. Along the way, I know I will gain more understanding about my world too. 

New

Putting my feelings into words is like communicating with people in Tanzania. I have to think so hard about all of the words in the English language I'm familiar with, so I choose the right ones to get my point across.
 The feeling I have toward the children is one I find important to explain. I love my dog, I love my home, and I love music. Although, when I see these kids smile, laugh, and learn, it's different. I made a special connection with a boy named Prosper in class one. Every time we make eye contact his face lights up, so my heart does too. His smile is so big. It fills up my entire body. I know I'm filled with love, but it feels different and new. I don't have a word powerful enough to describe it. I feel like I am overflowing with powerful, powerful love. It's an amazing feeling and I want to share it. Therefore, I give the kids care and I work to show them that I believe. They are so tenacious, confident and I truly believe they can do anything. I give them this care and belief because I think it will make them feel full and loved.
 Another feeling which is new to me, is the one I get when I believe I am making a difference. When I was teaching a math lesson in class one, a boy named Antony did not understand the content. The second I realized this, I worked through the math with him. While I found it difficult to explain something that seemed so simple to me, I knew I could not stop, this is because Antony is a bright student and I knew he could get it. I spent almost an entire class period explaining that when you subtract 17 from 42 you can borrow a 1 from the 4. Once he understood, I was overcome with that new feeling once again. It was something so simple but now he understands. Antony can do all subtraction problems where you need to borrow, simply because I cared enough to explain it; times like those feel like my moments. Moments where I believe in everything I am working for and know I truly have a purpose. Even though it was new, because I felt it, I will never unfeel it.
 The final foreign emotion comes from leaving the people of L.O.A.M.O. Often when people feel homesick I can't relate because I can go for long periods of time without really missing anything. With these children, that is not the case. When leaving the children I felt like my lungs were tied in knots. I couldn't breathe because it feels like something is missing without their physical presence. Now that they are gone, I truly miss them, I would do anything to be around them. Even while experiencing the culture of Tanzania through wonderful excusrions, I would still leave to be with them. There hasn't been a single second where I wouldn't be willing to drop everything to go back and teach. The feeling of honestly missing people, the way I miss them, is very new.
 I have felt many different emotions over the past two weeks. I am pleased with the work I have done though. I know for sure all of the efforts I put in were worth it. The efforts have taught me lessons I'm bringing home with me; every second I spend in a classroom, I will now work to understand the content as hard L.O.A.M.O's students do. I know when I understand something new I can help my teachers get a taste of the purposeful feeling that everyone deserves. I will never forget these inspiring kids and, even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to forget the way they have made me feel.

Believe

"Whether you believe that you can, or you believe that you can not, you are right." If you truly believe in something, it means you are committed to it. It means you put your heart and soul into something you believe to be true. The people of Arusha have such strong souls, they show me what it looks like to believe.
 Teacher Lilian believes in herself. Unlike anyone I've ever met, Lilian believes in three versions of herself. She believes in her past self, her current self, and her future self.
 Lilian went through primary and secondary school in Moshi, Tanzania. She attended college and studied to become a teacher. While she was in college, both of her parents became ill. Her father died in 2002 and her mother died in 2007. She got married in 2008. Lilian and her husband moved to Arusha together and built their home. In Arusha Lilian teaches at L.O.A.M.O. She teaches class one and last week, I had the honor of working with her. Lilian and her husband have two children together. They have a 2 1/2 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. Lilian's teaching job supports her two children, her unemployed husband, and herself. In addition, Lilian supported her 5 younger sisters after their mother passed.
 As I mentioned before, Lilian believed in her past self. When she told us her life story, she sounded very proud. She was happy with every decision she made. Her tone of voice when she talked about attending school showed me how appreciative she was for her education. Her decision to study and become a teacher, was one she believed in. She told us she was happy for her job because it provides for her family. She believed that her past self knew, becoming a teacher was a good decision. She enjoys teaching young children. This is because they are forgiving and impressionable. Lilian believes her choice to teach younger children was well thought out.
 Lilian believes in her present self. She knows that she can give something to the students she teaches. Lilian works extremely hard at school and at home to be the best she can be. She knows when she comes home from a hard day of work, she can cook for her kids, she can clean up after them, and she can give them love. She believes she can, so she does.
 Not only does Lilian believe in every choice she has made and her ability to work, she believes in the things she is going to do. She plans for the future. Lilian writes out her lesson plans and prepares to teach her class. She believes she will help the kids in the future so she prepares every day. She also has plans for her husband and land. She plans to help her husband through school so he can become a driver. She believes that her future self will be faithful and supportive. She wants to build more one-room houses on her land and rent them out, so her land is more lucrative. She knows that later in life she can do even more to help her family.
 On a different home visit, our group met another woman named Lilian. This woman was blind. When she had her first child, Ebenezer, her partner took the baby away from her. Less than a year after her first child was born, Lilian was impregnated again. Just like Ebenezer, the second child, Enoch, was stolen from her. I can not fathom being taken from my family. Emotionally that experience could break anyone. Lilian did not break though, she kept fighting for her children. Both of the boys were kept as slaves for 10 years. It wasn't until one of the boys was kicked in the head by a cow that she decided her children's lives were too unsafe. The conditions were so severe, a mother who is blind could see their suffering was too much. She knew that their lives would be better if they lived in her half-room house with a single parent that can not see. So many people could say Lillian is an unfit individual to care for two children on her own. She would be proving them worng though, because she is showing her kids how they deserve to be treated.
 Lillian is such a strong believer in God. She believes He is watching her and that He is always with her. Lillian prays a few times every day. She said when her prayers aren't answered, God is testing her. She believes He is making sure she is loyal. She believes in God because her prayers are often answered. When she would pray for food, God would shine through her neighbors and they would bring her food out of generosity.
 I am not a very religious person. I do not attend church at home. Although, Lillian's story made me believe. Maybe not in a God, but definitely in something larger than myself. I believe that some kind of higher power was helping Lillian survive through her hardest times. What that higher power is or how it works, I have no idea.  If that higher power can help out people in need, could it control who is born into what conditions? Why did I get so lucky? I do not know, I may never know. What I do know, though, is that now I strongly believe in something above me.
 Teacher Lilian and Lillian live in harsh conditions and do not live simple lives. Even so, both women believed in something with such a deep passion. They were proof to me that if you work hard and continue to believe, you can accomplish anything.

Sunshine

“You make me happy when skies are grey.”

In Tanzania this verse of “My Little Sunshine” seems to be applicable to education. Many of the children who attend L.O.A.M.O School live in rough conditions. They have little to eat, little to drink and practically nothing to bathe with. They are familiar with life’s grey skies.

They live in poverty and have real problems, very legitimate reasons to be upset. However, they are not upset. They choose not to let their issues affect their attitudes. This is the most powerful thing I have learned on my journey. The power of choice.

In the morning when the students wake up, they choose to dress nicely, they choose to pack air tight into a school bus, and they choose to come to school with ready-to-go attitudes. They show up every morning with these positive attitudes which are truly inspiring. They want to learn. At such a young age they seem to understand the idea of knowledge being power better than almost anyone I have ever met. The things they are learning will help them in their future lives. It will allow them to get better and higher paying jobs and therefore live a more comfortable life. I believe they understand that concept on a deep level. This is why every single one of my students shows up to class and chooses to work their hardest on every task. One of my students, Mikaela, is such a perfectionist. She will not stop working until her papers are absolutely correct and very neat. You can see that school is her passion. She wants to be the best student possible. I believe her work ethic is one that she chose.  Actually, my students have all chosen to care about school.

The importance of education radiates throughout the school, which is extremely beneficial to me when I teach. The experience so far has given me a sense of empowerment, I feel as if I’m actually appreciated and truly helping. When I am teaching the kids want to listen to me because they know what I am saying will help them succeed. The feeling you get when you know that your words are actually making a difference is impossible to describe, I feel powerful and loved. I know the feeling is one I will always remember and strive to get in my everyday life.

My hope for the next six days is that I will continues to feel like I am making a difference while teaching. I hope to see enterprising curiosity in the eyes of my students. I will continue to apply the lessons I learned from my pupils, and choose to give my best effort to educate L.O.A.M.O’s beautiful children, whom I love.

“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.”

Fears We Don't Face Become Limits

Participating in the Children’s Global Alliance Organization has helped teach me how important work ethic is. Not only do we have to work hard in the developing countries, we have to practice working before we leave home. I am so grateful for this lesson because it has helped me in many other aspects of my life. It has helped be to be successful in school. Working hard has improved my skill level in all of my sports. I know that if I can learn and apply a foreign language, then any math equation can be absorbed and used as long as I work at it. I have seen that if I want to create a perfect lesson plan to teach children a specific task, then I can do it. If I can make a plan to teach others a skill, I can make a plan for myself to learn any skill I want.

I am so excited as these last pushes of initial hard work are coming to end because it means the trip is approaching fast. Now I am focused on raising a couple hundred dollars, creating one more lesson plan, and practicing Swahili. I think Africa will be a great opportunity to learn more about the way other people view the world.

My main goal for the trip will be absorbing other people’s perspectives on life. While I was in Cambodia, the thing that was forever implanted in my mind and in my heart was that happiness is always a choice. The constant smiles on my friends’ faces reminded me that no matter what you’re going through, you can always choose to look on the bright side and find what makes you joyful. I think the children and teachers will have a lot to show me about their mindsets. I am truly thrilled to alter my attitude towards the world even further.

I want to make a difference with my efforts in Tanzania. I hope that every child I teach will remember and make use of the lessons I have planned for them. I'll strive to help children learn things in the classroom that will open up more careers so they can improve their life in the future. This comes from my desire to make change. I am not entirely sure where my desire comes from or why it is so strong. All I know is that I am determined to help others succeed. I am afraid that I won’t be as helpful as I potentially could be in Africa. I am terrified that one of my lessons won’t get through to the children the way I am hoping it will. This scares me because it would mean that I am not teaching as well as I could be. I want to give all I have to the children, so holding back even the littlest bit would be so disappointing to me.  Although my fear does make me more nervous about going, I think ultimately it will be beneficial. It will help me strive to do my best all the time and work towards perfection.

One of my goals for the trip is also to create bonds with all of the people I encounter in Africa. I am hoping to spread love and happiness to the deserving people we meet. I have learned that a very effective way to become close to another person is to make yourself utterly vulnerable. Opening up to the children and staff about my fears could help me create a strong and impactful bond.

Wapenzi jarida- Dear Journal

Wapenzi jarida,

I’m not really sure what I am supposed to say about him. I cannot even attempt to capture his character into words. He is so hard working- or I suppose I should say was. He was so hard working. Every morning when I woke up at sunrise to pray he would be heading out the door. I can not recall a single morning where my father did not hug me goodbye. He is the person I strive to be like everyday. He has showed me how life is supposed to be lived. It is supposed to be filled with laughter, love, hard work, and studies.  

Laughter

Not everyone saw the hilarious side of my father. When we went out in public he was a serious and respectful man. You could see how wise he was by simply watching the way he walked. Confident with his head held high, My Dad could have been perceived as humorless.  

Although this was not the case at all. In the evenings he would burst through the door sweating from work. I could always expect to see a grin spreading from ear to ear. Eager to hear about my day he would not stop asking questions. I would tell him all of my stories and he would laugh at all of the parts that were (supposed to be) funny. He would give advice about my problems. Most importantly, though, he would just listen to me talk about my life. Every night before bed he would make up these silly stories that put me to sleep laughing.

Love

I know that my father loved me. He would look at me with his huge brown eyes and smile. He never had to say it, but I knew. I knew that my Dad loved me and I do believe that he still does. He worked for me. Every single day he would walk 6 blocks to work in the kitchen at the U.S. Embassy. I have only seen him work once but it looks like a difficult job. When I asked what part of his job he liked best, he always told me he loved the feeling of working for others. Not only did he serve people in the kitchen, he also worked to provide for my mother and I. When he worked to help me, he made me feel appreciated and cared for.

Hard Work

As I have mentioned earlier, one of the most admirable characteristics about my Dad was the way he worked. He would never give up, whether it was fixing something at the house or maintaining a relationship with my mother- he persevered. He was born into a poor family but he worked hard at school and even took culinary classes. His work ethic was the primary reason he made it all the way to the U.S Embassy kitchen.

Studies

My Dad worked so hard in school. His parents were illiterate and he had to give up many of his meals so his parents could afford to send him to school. He loved reading. He he would read every word he saw and say it over and over until he was confident he had it memorized. He read everything from signs, books and maps, to menus and food labels. His reading ability put him far above all of his classmates in school. He got the opportunity to take several culinary classes at the University of Dodoma. He has encouraged me in my school work. He has read to me since I was very young. He also pushed me to learn English because he spoke it so well. He helped me develop an even greater appreciation for the school I have access to.

He was truly a beautiful soul. And now he is gone. August 7, 1998 that is the day he left me. I don’t know exactly how he died and I will never understand why. But he was working when the car bomb exploded and I will never get to say goodbye. But he is gone from my life and I must accept that. It is not fair and I don’t understand. Why does Al-Qaeda hate us so much? What did my father do? Why do I deserve this? It is not fair and will never stop trying to understand.

Now this is not me- not even close. Although, if I were a child living in Tanzania in the late 1990’s, it could be my story.  I was writing from the perspective of a 13 year-old girl who lost her father in the Al-Qaeda car bombing bombed at the U.S Embassy. The explosion killed 224 people and wounded over 5,000.  She spoke swahili and the opening line “Wapenzi jarida” translates into “Dear journal.” She was Islam; I attempted to allude to this when I wrote that she prayed at sunrise. She felt very fortunate to go to school and understood that being respectful was very important. These are parts of the story that are non-fiction and are found frequently throughout the country of Tanzania.

Although this girl I wrote about was a fictional character, I believe that some people in Tanzania have had experiences similar to the one I described. I think that some of the children I will be working with this summer will have gone through very rough times just like her. I know that the country we are traveling to is one of the poorest countries in terms of income per capita. I can infer that some children will be sacrificing meals, new clothing, and family savings in order to attend school. This is part of the reason I am so excited to be a part of their learning environment.

Last summer, I witnessed many amazing things in Cambodia. One of the most stunning things I observed was that all of the students were so excited about school; they were very eager to learn. I am looking forward to meeting more students who inspire me to be appreciative for my education. The children we worked with were so excited to participate in the classroom games and asked question to make sure they pronounced every word correctly. This makes teaching so enjoyable. I know that the things we show them will help them in many ways and could greatly impact their future. That knowledge is enough to make me want to teach. Although, when I see that the kids are interested about the information, it makes me more passionate about the subjects. I am confident that the children in Arusha will have the same attitude towards learning as the students in Cambodia did. I can not wait to stand in front of another classroom full of students who are prepared and thrilled to learn.

Fundraising is going very well. I have just finished raising 50% of the money required for this experience. I have worked dog walking, dog sitting, and babysitting in my spare time.  All of my work has been worth it already because it has helped me improve my time management and accountability. I am very excited for this trip and know that it will help me grow in many ways.